confusedYou know, I told you: There are 10 free positions and 11 candidats.
Well... I'm the one. That's kind of embarrassing, isn't it?
I don't really know how to feel. I mean, I've been working there during the last year and I did all the stupid stuff like writing minutes etc. Simply because those were the things nobody wanted to do - they all hurried for the more interesting jobs.
So, this year, I was planning to do some real work... but that's not possible for an illegitimate member.
I don't know what to do. I guess, I reacted pretty okay: I sent around an e-mail, thanking for the quick information. I just thought that a "Congrats to all who got elect" would have been nice... but no, that would be way too pretended ;)
I want to be a "good loser", I want to think that I can still change some things to the better. I can help with ideas and with effort (help at parties and stuff).
But on the other hand I'm really pissed. I mean, what would I get away with? I refused to demand an affirmation of my last year's work because, as I said, it wasn't really anything. I was so sure that it would be no big deal to handle these things now - but of course, they won't give me a certificate, stating that I "attended all meeting but unfortunately wasn't allowed to make any decisions".
So, I guess, I'll see how things will progress. I'm sad and angry and embarrassed and mad at myself because I can't lose properly.
Sorry, I had to wail - I guess, it's all a bit confusing now. That's kind of how I feel.
